We Have Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself
by siDEADde
Summary: "That has absolutely nothing to do with it." Jane growls out from the kitchen, the slam of the refrigerator door punctuating her statement. The doctor wonders if perhaps, this time, she has pushed her friend a bit too far. "I don't purposefully put myself in frightening situations. They just happen to be a regular occurrence in my choice of career."


**A/N: Written for the RizzlesFanficChallenge on Tumblr. **

**This is unbeta'd and was written in random spurts throughout the day. Please forgive any spelling and grammar issues, I'm damn tired of looking at it.**

We Have Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

"That has absolutely nothing to do with it." Jane growls out from the kitchen, the slam of the refrigerator door punctuating her statement. The doctor wonders if perhaps, this time, she has pushed her friend a bit too far. "I don't purposefully put myself in frightening situations. They just happen to be a regular occurrence in my choice of career."

The growl only deepens as the detective crosses the threshold from the kitchen to the living room, and the scowl that had started when Maura began the questioning still mars Jane's beautiful features. "So, in conclusion, no. No. I will not go with you to the mega-terrible, absolutely-horrible, seizure-inducing, shit-your-pants-scary Haunted Village over in the South End. End of conversation."

"But, it's for a good cause."

The look that Jane levels at her is nothing short of deadly, and definitely not deadly in the way Maura would like it to be. Her protest withers on her lips and she drops her eyes to stop Jane from seeing that she's actually hurt. The Haunted Village is a benefit for AIDS research and education and Maura is always one of the event's biggest donors. Until this year, she has always had to work the two evenings that the Village open, so the rather frighteningly designed invitation always ended up in her recycling bin. This year she almost didn't look at it before chucking it with the rest of the junk mail…almost. The first evening was a no-go, but she lucks-out with the second. Not only is she off, but so is Jane. She'd tucked the invitation behind a ribbon on her bulletin board and programmed the date into her phone. Then she'd promptly called Jane. Now here they are, locked in an argument over something Maura thought Jane would adore.

"So, pizza tonight?"

Jane doesn't take her eyes from the TV as she asks, and Maura flushes with a flare of uncharacteristic anger. She tries very hard to be a good friend and while she's pretty sure that most people don't need to think as hard about every action as she does, she does it because she believes that since Jane calls the doctor her best friend, she should be that. The best. But there are times (and this is one of them) that Maura gets the feeling that her efforts aren't as appreciated as she wishes.

"Sure. Whatever you'd like."

The dismissive tone gets Jane's attention, but Maura is already past her and in the bedroom. She'll go tonight, even if it means going alone or with someone besides Jane. Perhaps Frankie or BT will be up for a scaring. Maura stands in front of her massive shoe rack, contemplating the height of heel in proportion to who may escort her. The doctor doesn't like being taller than her dates.

"What are you doing?"

Maura jumps, jolted out of her reverie. The detective's lanky frame leans against the doorjamb and her deep brown eyes spear Maura over the lip of her beer bottle.

"I'm thinking about what shoes I'm going to wear tonight."

"Why in the world are you thinking about wearing shoes?" Jane arches an eyebrow, holding eye contact as she takes a swig of her beer and squinches her sock-feet on the hardwood floor.

"Because one wears shoes when one goes to the Haunted Village." Maura purposely turns her back to her friend and resumes her contemplation.

"I already said I'm not goin – ."

Maura cuts across Jane's declaration, her voice sharper than she intended. "Well, I didn't say -I- wasn't. I've had to decline for the past three years, and I'm not doing it again just because my best friend is thinks Halloween haunted houses are stupid." She stops and curbs her tone, but keeps her back to Jane. "Go order your pizza."

"Maura!" Jane's husky voice breaks and crackles over the drawn out vowels. Maura steels herself against the whine, bunching her hands into fists and clenching her jaw.

"No. I'm going, Jane. Go call for food, hang out, you're welcome to stay of course." She reaches for her phone and starts thumbing through her phonebook.

"Who are you calling?" Jane steps forward and tries to snatch the cell away. "Not that goofy bomb tech? Maura, he's as exciting as shoe shopping with you."

"Perfect." The doctor yanks her arm from Jane's grasp. "There are few things I enjoy more."

"Mauuuura." Jane stamps her foot and grabs Maura's wrist. "That's not what I meant."

"Then I'll ask Frankie." She ignores Jane's look of absolute horror. "His shift is over in an hour. That'll still be plenty of time." Maura knows exactly what she is doing and although the emotional manipulation she's doing won't cause hives, she does feel ashamed to stoop so low. She pulls against Jane's hold on her arm, but it won't budge.

"Fine. Fucking fine, you win. I'll go." Jane lets go of the doctor's wrist and shoves her hand into her hair, turning to walk out to the kitchen. Her voice floats in from the hallway. "But you owe me, Maura Isles."

The doctor can't fight the smile that appears as Jane stomps off down the hall.

* * *

Maura opted for a pair of black Zanotti combat-style boots, comfortable and practical for walking through the area designated "haunted" on their map. The nearby restaurant sells Halloween-themed meals and desserts and the two women ate "finger sandwiches" and "ice scream" before arriving to the line snaking out from the starting point.

"Do we really have to do this?" All the previous exasperation is gone from Jane's voice, and Maura thinks she actually detects a note of real fear. She stops dead in her tracks and turns to look at the detective.

"Will you just tell me why you hate this so much?" She wants to understand especially since she figured that haunted houses would be right up Jane's alley. The rush of adrenaline, the amusement of adults in costume scaring other adults, the fakeness of it all; Maura really thought Jane would spend the walk talking in sotto voce about how fake everything looked while the doctor hung on her arm or tucked into her side acting afraid so that Jane could protect her.

Jane looks around as if there are spies here in the South End just waiting for her to confess something ridiculously out of character. Maura bites her lip to keep from smiling at the action since Jane's face is grave and she's wringing her hands. Maura holds her breath and reaches out to take one in her own an attempt to comfort. She's shocked that Jane doesn't pull away.

"I just don't like it." Jane leans close, the rasp that leaves her lips is almost a whisper. "Isn't that enough?" Long fingers tighten reflexively around her own and Maura realizes that it should be enough. The hint of fear she thought she heard in Jane's voice is now evident in her trembling hands and wide eyes.

"Yes, yes. Of course it's enough. Come on, let's go home." She pulls Jane's arm around her back, and slips her own around Jane's slim waist, pulling the lithe body against hers. This role-reversal is new and Maura thrills a bit at the fact that she's actually providing comfort. They walk back to the parking lot in silence, Maura a bit unsettled at Jane's uncharacteristic deference.

Once they reach the car, Maura holds the door for Jane and then moves to the driver's side. When she gets in, Jane is turned towards the window, her forehead resting against the glass and her eyes closed. The doctor is at a loss, so she starts the car and then reaches over and takes Jane's hand again, squeezing it gently.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Jane doesn't answer, instead just shakes her head, her hand tightening a bit on Maura's. She turns the car towards Beacon Hill and starts rehearsing apologies in her head.

* * *

"You don't have to be sorry, alright? Just next time, if one of us really doesn't want to do something…for reasons, let's not do it. Ok?"

They are sitting facing one another on Maura's couch, legs curled and a blanket covering both of their laps. Two mugs of spiced cider sit on the table filling the air with apple-scented cinnamon goodness as Maura tries to apologize for the fifth time.

"I just feel so bad. I totally manipulated you into going with me because I thought you just wanted to watch the game." Maura is all round eyes and earnest, lips spilling words without a thought to how they will be received. Guilt is a merciless master and she's desperate for Jane's forgiveness.

"I said you don't have to be – wait. What do you mean you manipulated me into going?" Jane looks up from her lap where she'd been fidgeting with her hands.

Maura's mouth goes dry and her stomach drops. There are so many types of fear just tonight she'd hoped for a bit of safe scaring. The doctor has feared for her life more times than she cares to think about, but this fear right now is stronger than when Hoyt and Dennis held blades to her throat. What she feels now is akin to the paralyzing fear she felt when Dominic took Jane. When he took Jane _from her_. Now, again, Maura might lose Jane and that thought is more terrifying than losing her own life.

"I don't want to answer that question." She doesn't meet Jane's eyes.

"That's not fair. You can't say something like that and not explain it."

"Jane, you just said that if one of us has reasons for not doing something, the other wouldn't push."

Jane huffs, unhappy that her own words have already come to haunt her. "Let's make a deal?"

"I thought we already did…"

"I'll tell you why I didn't want to go through the Haunted Village, if you tell me why you think you manipulated me into going."

"No, I don't think I want to do that." Maura shakes her head, sitting up straighter to create distance between them. The motion almost hurts. Jane continues as if the other woman hadn't spoken.

"Fear, Maura. I was afraid to go with you to the Haunted Village because I'm afraid of haunted houses. Imagine that, big, bad Rizzoli afraid of costumes and spooky lighting and sound effects." Jane is growling again, and she's back to twisting her hands into moving knots. The growl tapers off to a whisper. "But that's not really why I didn't want to go."

Maura's head comes up at this and she squints at the detective, wishing Jane would look up so she can read the emotions that are always hiding in her eyes.

"I don't want you to see me like that." The words tumble into her lap and Maura isn't sure she heard correctly.

"You don't what?" Maura tries to keep her voice level, but incredulity sneaks in on the what.

Jane meets hazel eyes, defiance cutting through the fear still residing there. "I don't want you to see me like that."

"Like what, Jane?"

"Hiding my face in your shoulder, unable to go ahead of you, unsure if I could keep you safe." The detective practically spits the words out in disgust. "It's pathetic that I can go into a hostage situation without a thought, but I can't go with you through a holiday amusement park. It's weak, and I don't want you to see me like that." Those deep brown eyes shine into her own, translating Jane's words into emotion.

And just like that, Maura dares to hope, to take a risk on a hunch and not facts. "I know, I mean, I understand."

"No, I don't think you do."

"I was never going to invite BT or Frankie."

"What?"

"I wasn't going to invite either of them. I knew if I said I was, you'd get jealous, say something disparaging, and then just agree to come along. I took advantage of how you feel about me."

Jane leans forward, her hand moving to Maura's knee. Maura shivers at the contact. "And how do I feel about you, Maura?"

The doctor shrugs a little and summons a wobbly smile. "I just hope it's the same as the way I feel about you."

"Maur." Jane leans closer, but Maura holds up a finger. "How do you–"

"Shhh. Just let me show you."

Maura rises up to her knees, the blanket falling from her lap and onto the floor. Her hands tremble as they cup Jane's jaw and she brushes her thumbs gently below those velvety brown eyes. Jane's eyes widen a second before they fall shut, her long black lases rest against the skin where Maura just touched. Maura leans forward and softly presses her lips against Jane's, then tips her head so they rest with their foreheads touching.

"That's how I feel about you." Maura whispers against Jane's lips then kisses her again, as sweetly as the first time.

When Jane opens her eyes, she can do nothing but smile.


End file.
